To Be or Not To Be

We officially consider ourselves pregnant!

The first positive result happened last Friday, the day that was calculated as being my first day of the next period based on the average over the last few months. I don’t have a regular cycle but it was always with a few days’ range. I hadn’t felt any PMS symptoms prior to this day but I had only recently started having more pronounced PMS symptoms in the last few months, which was about the time we started seriously trying for a baby, so it was anyone’s guess and my biggest hope. That first test was taken about mid-morning and if you bent the stick towards the light a certain way, you could see the faintest of faint lines on the First Response result window (the other darker line being a control line) that would indicate a positive result. It was enough for me! And I knew ANY line was a positive result but it’s tough to say that to an objective observer… say, Mike, for example. I know he handles things easier in small doses so I let him I took a test and that nothing was definitive but there was a strong possibility that our epic run last month was successful. I promised I would wait until the next day to take another test and broke that promise just a few hours later. This time I tried the sample digital test that was included in the box and I guess that faintest of faint line meant there just wasn’t enough there and it came up negative. Not just negative; a worded message: “No”. I still had some hope that it just didn’t have enough to work with and proceeded to happy hour with moderation in mind.

On Saturday, I woke up at 7am, unable to will myself back to sleep. Of course it was on my mind! We had also just completely renovated our kitchen cabinets and the kitchen was still empty and the rest of our house in disarray—pretty much the pea under a stack of mattresses for this princess. I took another test and while it was still faint, it just seemed more there. Not as much light deflection needed! It was still a far cry from a conclusive result to the Objective Observer but things were moving in the right direction! At this point, I was going to operate as though it was a Sure Thing but continue let my Objective Observer take it in small doses. We spent the rest of the day reorganizing the kitchen and cleaning the house, including some nasty tedious business of scrubbing the floor tile grout.

Sunday brought another opportunity to take the test. Of course it was still a faint line but clearly things have progressed! I went to brunch with Diedre to unabashedly engage in baby discussion and then called Amanda to give her a heads up. I knew I wasn’t going to be satisfied until I got Mike totally on board and secretly loved seeing the infamous second line getting darker with each day. I had one test left in the box and planned on buying another one—just to be sure.

I took the last test in the box yesterday and was pleased with how the second line was getting darker. Mike was finally buying in–I could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. Not completely unlike fear and uncertainty. Game on! I still intended to buy another box of pregnancy tests but this time I was going to get the digital kind so I could see the words. So Mike could see the words. I scoped out what to look for in a prenatal vitamin and put that on the shopping list. I jokingly sent Mike an Amazon link to a “dude” book about pregnancy and he actually rejected it since the reviews showed it was not a serious enough book. We have a vague date to shop for our own pregnancy books. We must have crossed the threshold. I am currently reading A Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy and Mike cracked What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

I took the digital test this morning and the glorious words were present: “Pregnant”. Spelled out. Plainly. No lines to compare. 5 positive tests can’t be wrong! I called Boulder Women’s Care, an Ob/Gyn practice two of my friends have used and loved and made an appointment for April 9th. Eeek!

So far, I don’t feel any real symptoms yet. I went to the gym yesterday and today and did take it down a half-notch on the elliptical machine and treadmill but otherwise felt normal. I hear I should just go with this for as long as possible!

I also intend to wear my “hot” jeans every day until I can no longer breathe in them.

Daily results from Friday to Monday

Daily results from Friday to Monday

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One thought on “To Be or Not To Be

  1. My heart is beating so fast. I am so happy for you two – and for us two – and for your Mom and sister – and for . . . for your little one. He/she is so lucky to have you as parents.

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