A Narrative Before Bedtime

(Unknown amount of time has passed between coaxing kids upstairs to get ready for bed)

Me (still pleasant): “Who wants to wash hands first?”

Silence. Then giggling from two different rooms.

Me: “Okay, Maxon. Let’s wash your hands.”

Maxon: “But… nooooooo… Cooper first… nooooooo!”

Me: “Maxon, come on. Let’s wash your hands.”

Maxon: (Slowly walking from bedroom, at times backwards and running into door jamb)

Maxon: (Inspecting offending door jamb)

Me: “Maxon. Come. On. Time to wash hands.”

Maxon: (Finally at sink. Craning his neck to see himself in the mirror and grinning when he catches a glimpse)

Me: “Ok. Ready to wash hands now?”

Maxon: (Talking about Thomas the Train and Friends) “I’m James, you’re Henry, Cooper is Thomas, and Daddy is Gordon.”

Me: “MAXON! Just wash your hands!”

Maxon: Mutters under his breath with furrowed brow and a pout, “…says Henry.”